MIDLIFE HEALTH & WELLBEING: Men’s mental health – changing the mindset and conversation
The stigma against men discussing their health and emotions is dangerous and, in our profession, a 'perfect storm' of factors can lead to burnout and depression
Marc’s perspective
A negative impact on your mental health and wellbeing can affect anybody regardless of your age, the colour of your skin, your background or your sex. This applies the same when you are physically unwell and there should be no reason why there is a stigma attached to men when they face difficulties with their emotional and psychological wellbeing, yet that remains the challenge in society. I know from my own personal journey in recent years – having experienced a period of anxiety, extreme stress, depression and burnout – the devastating impact this can have on an individual. I have also seen it, in my capacity as a family justice professional, in my male clients experiencing divorce, separation, domestic abuse, worries about their children and other family related matters. They come to me under huge amounts of stress and worry, which is sometimes physically apparent when speaking to my clients, but other times not so much.
Society has sometimes mocked men for struggling with their health and their emotions, and this has an impact on them being able to be honest about their difficulties. According to Mental Health UK:
- 12.5% of men in England have a mental health disorder
- they are three times more likely than women to die by suicide
- suicide is the biggest killer of men under the age of 35
It is important as family justice professionals that, when issues do arise regarding mental health and wellbeing, we point ourselves, our colleagues, family and clients to the right experts and support network to ensure the right help is provided. If you are reading this article and are currently struggling and/or not feeling yourself, be proactive and not reactive to your health.
A professional who can assist and who I know shares my passion surrounding men’s mental health and wellbeing generally, is Michelle, and she has set out some thoughts below about how wellbeing and mental health affect men, and what we can learn from this in our everyday practices
Michelle’s perspective
If we consider Gamma bias (Seager & Barry 2019) – the hypothesis that our empathy is conditioned by unwritten but potent cultural positions – we can start to formulate why many men tend to implode rather than express their mental health challenges. The societal norm sees men more as causing harm and being privileged, rather than being harmed and disadvantaged. Additionally, various cultural concepts of masculinity create a list of unwritten rules to include how men should express emotion, and what determines their worth, relevance and value. This can result in unbearable psychological pain if they deviate from these “rules”. The result is that pain can get suppressed or expressed in maladaptive ways. This hypothesis is evidenced through the fact that although male gender is the largest risk factor in all deaths by suicide, the research into male psychology and behaviour remains limited (Seager 2019).
So what are the common themes, even though men are complicated and diverse? Are there biological and cultural factors we can identify as affecting men’s poor mental health in the legal world? Firstly, legal work attracts a type of personality that includes characteristics of perfectionism, being overly self-critical, an analytical mind, and sometimes impatience. This is then compounded by a family justice system that is underfunded and at breaking point. And, of course, your clients are often presenting at the worse periods of their lives. Such clients are often faced with a set of dramatic, unwanted life changes they need to navigate without the emotional scaffolding to support this. So you become an indirect “first responder”, in turn carrying unprocessed secondary trauma.
In biological terms too we see the far lesser-acknowledged impact of hormonal shifts in men, crudely framed as the male menopause or andropause. I believe, as do other professionals, that male menopause or andropause does exist, but to provide a balance, currently the view of the NHS is mixed. While that term is viewed by the NHS as unhelpful as the drop in testosterone as men age is not as predictable, measurable or impactful for all men in comparison to women and menopause, some NHS bodies, namely the East Midlands Ambulance Service, have made specific consideration of men experiencing andropause-related issues. Investment in sufficient research is illustrating the growing link between the gradual decrease of testosterone and symptoms for men in the later age range, including mood swings, irritability, muscle mass loss, reduced exercise capacity, changes in fat distribution such as abdominal weight gain or “man boobs” (gynaecomastia), decreased energy and enthusiasm, sleep problems like insomnia, increased fatigue, poor concentration, and short-term memory difficulties. Given the emerging link between androgen deficiency and such presentations, a real case to consider this relationship in our workplaces becomes intuitive and valid. There are a number of resources out there for readers to consider should they wish to explore this biological aspect further, such as from the Journal of the Korean Data Analysis Society and the National Library of Medicine in the US.
Reflecting on these factors, coupled with the masculine “rule book” mentioned above, we are potentially facing a perfect storm. How should we approach this? The first step from my model of practice is prevention to avert crisis. This is achieved by raising awareness to start to shift the cultural paradigm using this knowledge in law firms, to support men more holistically. Then invest in professionals who disrupt the unhelpful notions of masculinity and legal “superheroes”, replacing this with more protected spaces where psychosocial learning, evidence-based strategy and mental health support become a systemic norm. Most importantly, we must counter the unconscious bias we each carry when viewing our male colleagues (who may be struggling as Marc so openly shared) with non-judgemental compassion. The aim is that this experience becomes introjected positively into mens’ own relationship with themselves. The results in my experience of such investment with my male clients are truly life-changing.
Concluding point
We jointly hope that by publishing this article, it can encourage us as a profession to understand that whilst we must continue to understand and adapt to support females who go through menopause and other emotional and physical challenges, this does not mean the attention and support given to men should be any less important. For example, much research and work is being undertaken by professionals about the links to men being at a higher risk of suicide. Should anyone want access to a key collection of findings from the research undertaken that is available to the public, they can access this via https://malesuicideresearch.com/resources/
Let’s keep the conversation going through collaboration, education and training to appropriately support others as well as ourselves.
Michelle Morais, Integrative Psychotherapist at Sana Mente Ltd
Marc Etherington, Legal Director at Raydens Solicitors