Towards the end of this week, the Muslim community will be celebrating the festival of Eid ul Fitr, which marks the end of the holy month of Ramadan (a period of fasting). However, the precise date will vary, as it is defined as the day after the new moon is sighted. Sometimes, the actual date may not be announced until the night before.
Consequently, it is difficult to plan for the day especially with regards to children who would be celebrating this special occasion with their families. This is a particularly difficult situation to navigate for divorced or separated parents.
Eid ul Fitr
The lead up to the celebration, is exciting as Muslims plan their outfits and buy gifts.
On the day, families get together to celebrate. The day usually starts with the offering of Eid prayers early in the morning. After offering prayer, Muslims greet each other with the customary Eid greeting; ‘Eid Mubarak’. Muslims usually wear their finest, new clothes and spend the day with their extended family and friends, exchanging gifts known as Eidi and enjoying a lovely feast. It is similar in importance to Christmas, but often made more complex in terms of organising due to the uncertainty of exactly when Eid falls each year.
Co-parenting
Eid can be a stressful time for separated or divorced Muslim clients.
It is important that children can see and enjoy time with both parents and their families during this special occasion.
The key to co-parenting during this time is to discuss matters together to make important decisions in advance, including:
- Giving sufficient notice to schools, so they are aware that the child/children will be missing school to celebrate this festival when it happens. While there are certain faith schools which already allow time off during Ramadan and Eid, generally, in the UK, children do not have the day off school by default. All parents have a legal responsibility to ensure their child attends school regularly and on time. Both parents need to therefore agree to seek the school’s permission to authorise their absence.
- Discussing which parent, the children will spend which part of the Eid celebrations with. It is best to discuss and agree these matters directly or via mediation if required in plenty of time before Eid (perhaps try to have a general outline of arrangements agreed before Ramadan commences to allow for a peaceful Ramadan). If matters cannot be agreed, Lawyers may need to be involved to deal with the arrangements for Eid and the child arrangements in general if they are also in dispute.
- Allowing for different Eid dates for each parent, as these can vary between mosques, so a level of flexibility is required.
In Muslim families, the importance of extended families should not be ignored. It is essential that family lawyers consider children spending time with both sides of the family on this special day.
Contact arrangements
Divorced or separated parents need to be flexible with contact arrangements during Eid so that children can enjoy time with both parents and the extended families. This can be particularly important when each parent follows their local mosques which may result in two parents celebrating Eid on different days, especially if they at a distance from the other.
Ideally, this flexibility would be part of the agreed arrangements or any court order. If not, then it would need to be considered and either agreed directly or between lawyers or ordered by the court.
Given the importance of the Eid festival for Muslim clients (and the fact that it is celebrated twice every year), the court does factor in this celebration as part of any final child arrangements order when dealing with a case involving a Muslim family.
While a child arrangements order is intended to be prescriptive to avoid litigation in the future, and to remain applicable during the child’s minority, if possible, there does need to be a level of flexibility as a matter of principle. When considering Eid, such flexibility, such as a provision in the court order for “any other contact to be agreed between the parents” would allow for last-minute changes.
Each child and each family are different, and it is important to factor in what is important to that family when advising them.
by Aysha Chouhdary
Family Law Partner and Head of Faith & Cultural Services at Geldards LLP
