During February, which is LGBTQIA+ History Month, I’ve been reflecting on how the legal landscape has changed for same sex couples in the past twenty years.
I qualified as a solicitor in 1994, still deep in the professional closet at a time when there were no legal protections for LGBTQ+ families or employees. I recall that my LGBTQ+ lawyer contemporaries all seemed to move to London, where for some it felt a bit safer to be themselves.
At that time there was still a huge intolerance. To many younger LGBTQ+ people, it now seems extraordinary that discrimination in family law, employment, goods and services was perfectly lawful.
Times have changed, legislation in this jurisdiction has moved forward, but the legacy can still resurface, especially when it comes to relationships, often now formed online these days across legal borders, adding legal recognition complications between jurisdictions of varying degrees of tolerance, or none.
The Adoption and Children Act 2002 broke historic ground by granting same sex couples the same rights to adopt children as opposite sex couples. It was after this, in 2004, that ground-breaking legal recognitions were first introduced, both for trans folk, granted a Gender Recognition Certificate under the Gender Recognition Act 2004, and for same sex couples and their children, under the Civil Partnership Act 2004, a pivotal moment that had an impact on many facets of family law. Later, the Equality Act 2010 strengthened protections for some LGBTQ+ people against discrimination, whilst the introduction of the Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Act 2013 eventually equalised the right to marry.
Since then, the balance has been somewhat redressed. The latest available statistics show that in 2022 there were 1,298 divorces or dissolutions involving same sex couples, and in 2023, one in five adoptions were to same sex couples. But behind these figures are families still navigating homophobia, transphobia and complex questions about legal parenthood and cross border recognition complications, as well as the stresses of separation, which include finances, housing and arrangements for children.
For LGBTQ+ people facing family breakdown, it can be harder to admit something is wrong, and harder to ask for support. Many well-meaning services still make exclusionary assumptions, normalising only opposite sex partners, or treat equality simply as treating everyone the same, without recognising minority stressors or the impact and legacy of concealment and stigma.
For example, in stepfamilies with LGBTQ+ members, separation can be uniquely painful, where a lack of biological ties can sometimes be treated as decisive and children risk losing contact with much loved parents, stepparents or grandparents.
LGBTQIA+ History Month offers an opportunity to reflect on how family law and best practice supports LGBTQ+ families, and to recognise the real life experiences behind that progress.
Rights in legislation only matter if they work in real life. Family lawyers work with people at their most vulnerable, from those anxiously trying to grow their families through issues like surrogacy or adoption to the challenges faced when relationships come to an end. It is never ‘one size fits all’. Real families are diverse, complex – and often incredibly brave.
Bridget Garrood, Consultant Solicitor and Collaborative Family Lawyer, The Family Law Company
