Supervision and reflective practice in family law

In this article I want to explore with you supervision: why the family law profession needs it, what it is, how it can benefit you and how you can access it for yourself and others in your firm.

Why does the family law profession need supervision?

In supervision everything starts with you, the practitioners. So, first of all it is helpful to identify the type of people who choose to become family lawyers. Most likely you are empathetic, sympathetic, caring people who want to help others. The types of characteristics we have can open us up to vulnerabilities and risks if we do not take care to support ourselves in our work, and these can include:

• having a sense of achievement and self-esteem which are intrinsically linked to success at work when working in a profession which is full of uncertainty, judicial discretion and many ups and downs
• being driven, ambitious, highly performing with a propensity to be go, go, go in a fast-paced sector which can lead to not taking breaks or time off
• being people pleasers and/or rescuers who find it hard to say no, hang up the phone on clients, under time record/reduce bills or take extra measures to impress those they work for by being continuously available
• catastrophising small mistakes or problems into a potentially complete disaster
• imposter syndrome and a tendency to take too much responsibility for clients, lacking boundaries in relationships
• experiencing vicarious trauma, particularly prevalent when working with domestic abuse

There is no manual as to what to expect when you begin working in family law and no one really understands what it is like to be a family lawyer unless they are one! Most of us will learn through trial and error, gain knowledge and experience, and look to those around us to model our own behaviour. This can lead to unintentionally developing unhealthy or unhelpful working practices or experiencing high levels of stress or even burnout.

Supervision has arisen out of what is a clear and obvious need within the legal profession generally for mental health and wellbeing to be proactively protected for our lawyers. Through 2021 to 2024 a number of reports were published into wellbeing in law and Deloitte have conducted global surveys across all professions into mental health for the last five years. The results are glaring:

• Resolution Wellbeing Survey May 2021 – 89% of family lawyers experienced mental ill health in the previous 12 months
• LawCare Life in Law Survey September 2021 – 69% experienced mental ill health in the previous 12 months; over 60% suffered from anxiety often, very often or all the time; and 65% said they needed to check emails outside regular working hours to stay on top
• International Bar Association Mental Wellbeing in the legal profession: A global study October 2021 – the profession is described as being in crisis amongst under 30s and there is an urgent need for culture change due to “systematic problems”
• LawCare Impact Report 2023 – 14% increase in people contacting their services for mental health support in 2023. More people sought help in 2023 than during the Covid 19 pandemic. Issues included: 22% stress & 13% anxiety; 14% workplace bullying and harassment; 13% career concerns
• Deloitte Global’s Gen Z and Millennial Survey 2024: over a third of those who feel regularly anxious or stressed (36% of Gen Zs and 33% of millennials) say that their job is a key factor with this, showing no improvement on previous years
• The Solicitors Charity – Big Report 2024. Referrals for emotional support rose by 178% and demand for financial wellbeing support rose by 60%
• LawCare Life in Law Report 2025: the 26-35 age group had the lowest average score for mental wellbeing. 50% said they had experienced anxiety, either often, very often or all of the time, over the last 12 months. The average risk of burnout was high and the average indication score for psychological safety was in the lower half of the range provided.

What is supervision and what are the benefits?

In practice, it is meeting every four weeks with your supervisor for 60 minutes and confidentially talking about all things work related. Your firm can appoint and fund an independent supervisor for you to work with, or you can appoint your own supervisor.

BUT it is so much more than this. Taking part in supervision is an opportunity to take a big step back, take a breath and think about our clients, relationships and practices, assessing our resources and then learning. It is a chance to set intentional practices into motion that we are in control of and that meet our needs.

How many of us get to express our feelings, concerns, worries, insecurities, mistakes, perceived mistakes, relationships, vent, rant, talk about our boss/partners openly, cry and actually be heard and seen without judgement or without an opinion being offered or a solution imposed on us?

The supervisor is there to listen and engage with you in creative discussion as well as sometimes challenge you. They have no expectations of what you will bring to a session and are there solely for your benefit.

What often begins as an opportunity to express and relieve yourself of concerns or experiences evolves subtly into a long-term sustainable opportunity for professional and personal development. Those who engage in supervision purposefully and with intention to understand themselves better can increase their knowledge and skill level, improve client relationships and widen their abilities to approach problem solving, developing resilience, confidence and agency.

Supervision approaches the work you do with curiosity. Not to solve the problem for you but to support you in engaging in creative thinking or just exploring the dynamics at play – what could you do, what do you want to do and feel able to do with your resources? It can be possible to change the nature of the relationship you have with clients and colleagues, maintain professional standards and move forwards positively or change direction even in the most challenging of situations.

Most people only seek mental health support when the situation is so bad they cannot ignore it any longer, and will work hard to regain emotional stability, and then relapse with the cycle repeating itself. There is a wonderful African proverb: If you want to go faster, go alone. If you want to go far, go together. Supervision is a collaborative practice and who knows how far you might go if you try it for yourself.

How do I get it?

I strongly encourage anyone who wants to try supervision to ask their firm to provide it and fund it. Get together and lobby the heads of department, partners, wellbeing leads or HR. We have the power to effect change within our own firms. As a supervisor I can meet with a team or partners and explain the benefits for not only the wellbeing of the team but also the commercial and financial benefits for the firm of investing in supervision. This is not a zero-sum game.

According to Deloitte, for every £1 spent on supporting the mental health and wellbeing of their workforce, employers get (on average) about £4.70 back in increased productivity and as high as £7.30 for “early investment directed at the whole workforce”. The global cost to employers of poor mental health is £51bn per year, with presenteeism as the largest contributor.

It is a commercially viable cost which every firm can provide and be part of a sea change in the culture of our profession. I believe the future of family law eventually will include regular supervision for all family law practitioners. Does your firm want to be part of the movement for change or a late adopter forced to evolve through necessity only?

If you are interested to find out more about supervision you can contact me or visit my website www.vanessagardinersupervision.co.uk and the Association of Family Law Supervisors (AFLS) website has a directory of all supervisors who have qualified with FLiP Faculty at www.familylawsupervisors.co.uk. Supervisors are available nationally to work with you and your firm. 

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