Child inclusive mediation – what do practitioners need to know?
Supporting and encouraging families to put the best interests of any children first is a central aspect of the Resolution Code. A key element of this should be to ensure that children’s voices are heard in appropriate cases through child inclusive mediation. But how does this actually work?
How old does a child need to be to meet a child inclusive mediator?
The guidance that mediators follow is: where a child or children is/are 10 or over, the mediator should suggest to the parents that their children have the opportunity to speak to the mediator. This is not a hard and fast rule, however. Like many mediators, I have sometimes met younger children – particularly, for example, where a sibling is involved, or the younger child is articulate and their parents feel they should have a voice.
How is the meeting set up?
The mediator will have met the parents individually and then together. At a joint meeting, the mediator will discuss whether or not, and if so how, the children should be seen. They can be seen by the same mediator, who has met the parents. Or, if it is felt to be more appropriate, they can be seen by another mediator.
The mediator discusses various items with the parents: where the mediation will take place (in person or online); who will bring the children to the meeting, if it is in person; and how the mediator will reach out to the children to make the invitation. (The children will be invited to come, but whether or not they take up the invitation is their decision.)
The mediator should consider if child inclusive mediation is definitely the right approach. Whilst Article 12 of the 1989 UN Convention on the Rights of the Child makes clear that children should be given a voice in decisions affecting them, not every situation is suitable for child inclusive mediation. If there are safeguarding concerns, high levels of conflict, or concerns about alienating behaviour, child inclusive mediation may not necessarily be appropriate.
Both parents must agree to child inclusive mediation taking place. Then, before the mediator contacts the children, they need to sign an agreement to confirm their assent to the process moving forward in this way.
What happens when the mediator meets the children?
The mediator reassures the children that, whilst their parents would like them to have a voice in the mediation process, the decision-making remains with their parents.
The mediator confirms to the children that they will only feed back to the parents what the children agree to. At the end of the meeting, they will check with the children about the message/information they want to be conveyed to their parents.
Once the mediator has met the children, the mediator will conduct a feedback session with the parents – only conveying the messages or information specifically given by the child or children. This feedback is given to the parents orally, rather than in writing.
Once the feedback has been given, the parents continue to work with the mediator on their parenting plan, taking on board the children’s expressed views/voices.
When can child inclusive mediation be used and what are its benefits?
Child inclusive mediation can be used to look not only at child arrangements, but also specific issues, such as over the choice of a child’s school and other matters pertaining to parental responsibility, or in the context of internal/external relocation cases.
The principal benefit of the process is, of course, that children get to meet a neutral person who is able to convey their wishes and feelings. It is respectful of them, as the mediator only feeds back what the children expressly agree to.
Child inclusive mediation can be arranged very quickly, which contrasts to the delays in the court process. It also provides continuity for the children, should they need to meet the mediator in future, ie should arrangements be reviewed. It is, additionally, a less stressful and formal process than being interviewed by a Cafcass officer, and has the children’s welfare and wishes at its heart.
Child inclusive mediation can be used in solicitor-inclusive and hybrid mediation too. Moves are afoot to look at the development of the process, to enable solicitors to attend feedback sessions with their clients. As at present, this does not happen – watch this space.
Please note that CIM mediators must be FMC- accredited, trained in CIM, and hold an enhanced DBS check – see the new FMC guidance at familymediationcouncil.org.uk/enhanced-dbs-checks
We should also bear in mind that CIM cannot be ordered by the court – it must be voluntary and does not replace the Cafcass officer’s role, appointed by the court, to prepare a wishes and feelings report.
Edward was Child Inclusive Mediator of the Year at the 2024 National Mediation Awards and is a Resolution Accredited Mediator