Book review: The Co-Parenting Method by Marcie Shaoul

Imagine a world where every set of separated parents is gifted a copy of Marcie Shaoul’s new book, The Co-Parenting Method, at the very beginning of their separation journey. It could be best described as an Operation Manual for separated parents, an extensive document that outlines fundamental processes, procedures and guidelines required for smooth functioning. It gives a clear understanding of roles and responsibilities. It ensures consistency, streamlines training and promotes efficiency.

The Co-Parenting Method gives parents guidelines and procedures to follow with hope and reassurance that they can create a good co-parenting relationship over time and with encouragement to keep going when it is feeling hard to see light at the end of the tunnel.

Thanks to Marcie we now have a go-to resource to recommend to parents which we know is tried and tested. The methods have been used by Marcie in her coaching practice for many years and she knows that they work. Throughout the book there are examples of parents who have applied the co-parenting skill set and reaped the rewards for the benefit of their children and themselves. It is a combination of learning + coaching + practising, using proven memory techniques which clients can access at times of high stress due to the memory tools Marcie introduces in the book. The examples provide hope for parents, with a big dose of reassurance, that they can learn to co-parent if they follow the guidance and use the tools. Marcie invites parents to take action in order to bring about change.

Marcie is clear in her messages to parents from the start of her book; co-parenting really matters. Children need their parents to learn how to co-parent so that they can continue to thrive as their family changes shape. Co-parenting is for the rest of life and children are worth the investment. Co-parenting is where both parents put their children front and centre and communicate effectively about them. It does not have to be perfect; it just needs to be good enough.

There are six steps in the manual:

• moving to a long-term mindset
• managing strong emotions
• setting boundaries and recognising your co-parent’s perspective
• communicating without conflict
• making good co-parenting decisions
• beyond surviving to thriving

I have already started to recommend Marcie’s book to every client that I meet in my mediation practice. On the day that I am writing this book review I have recommended it to two parents in their first joint session, inviting them to read two chapters of the book before they return to their second mediation meeting. They are needing help with managing strong emotions and communicating without conflict. If they read those chapters before they meet again then I feel confident that they will make more progress in the next session.

My call to action: spread the word about The Co-Parenting Method far and wide. The more parents who know about this inspirational resource, the more children who can thrive and adjust in a healthy way as their family changes shape. This book will help parents and, by helping parents, we help children.

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The Co-Parenting Method: Six Steps to Raise Happy Kids after Separation and Divorce, is published by Vermilion.