Supporting your clients through mediation

Mediation is a rapidly evolving area, particularly with courts continuing to put increasing emphasis on the importance of engaging meaningfully in NCDR. Clients now look to their legal advisers not only for litigation strategy, but also for guidance on which dispute resolution route is most appropriate – and how to get the very best out of it.

As mediators, we are seeing increasing numbers of clients exploring whether that process is right for them, including many who initially feel sceptical. This may be because their circumstances involve complex issues, high-value assets, or where communication has broken down so much that litigation seems inevitable. However, once we have talked through the issues, and shared our enthusiasm for mediation and the range of flexible ways of working together, many are persuaded to give it a go. The ongoing success of mediation is significantly enhanced where clients are well-supported by their lawyers.

With this in mind, we have collaborated to share with you our practical tips and guidance for supporting your clients through the mediation process.

Don’t underestimate the MIAM

Too often, the Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) is seen as a procedural hurdle or administrative formality. In reality, it is one of the most important stages of the process.

A MIAM explains how the process works, what the mediator can and cannot do, and the different forms the process can take. It is also not solely about mediation, but should include the full spectrum of NCDR options and identify which processes – or combination of processes – may best suit the family’s needs. A MIAM assesses suitability and probes for practical challenges such as work commitments, neurodivergence, and language or health challenges. Crucially, it gives each person a confidential space to speak openly and honestly – often for the first time – about what is happening behind the scenes.

Lawyers can make a tangible difference by reframing the MIAM for their clients. Encourage them to attend early and view it as an opportunity to refine the route forward. Reassure them that discussions are confidential and designed to ensure the process is safe and appropriate for their circumstances.

Safeguarding and domestic abuse

Screening is a vital part of mediation. It determines whether mediation is appropriate, which model should be used, and what safeguards may be required.

Clients should understand that disclosing concerns such as coercive control, intimidation, financial abuse, stalking or emotional manipulation does not automatically weaken their chances of utilising mediation or deem mediation as entirely unsuitable. Instead, it allows the mediator to assess the situation and look to structure the process safely, perhaps introducing measures such as shuttle or hybrid mediation, separate arrival and departure times, or working online. Reasonable adjustments can also be made for trauma, anxiety or neurodiversity.

Suitability is assessed continuously. If a client experiences pressure or discomfort during mediation, encourage them to raise it privately with the mediator. Often the process can simply be adapted, for example by slowing the pace or introducing shuttle arrangements.

Your support is essential

The support of both clients’ lawyers is vital to giving mediation a real chance of success. A lack of understanding or encouragement can undermine the process.

Solicitors may be unsure if their case is suitable for mediation. If in doubt, it’s worth running it past a mediator in the first instance. Mediators hear both clients’ perspectives, which are often very different – not because someone is lying, but because each person’s perception is filtered through their own experience and emotional lens. The mediator’s role is not to determine who is right, but to help the clients find a workable way forward.

Clients may worry about “giving something away” in mediation. Reassure them that discussions in mediation are without prejudice (except where safeguarding concerns arise). Clients remain in control: they can decline proposals, pause to seek advice, or request adjustments to the process.

Get to know your mediator

Like other professionals, mediators work in different ways, so choosing the right mediator for your client is important. We recommend contacting the mediator to get an understanding of their approach and what your client can expect from the process. You may also want to consider:

• What information the mediator requires. Extensive correspondence is rarely needed, but existing financial disclosure or proposals may be helpful.
• Whether the mediator is Child Inclusive Mediation (CIM)-trained or works with a child-inclusive mediator.
• In high-value or technically complex financial cases, how experts may be involved.
• If one or both clients may qualify for legal aid, referring to a legal aid mediator.
• Clarifying documentation expectations, including summary notes after each session and/or at the end of the process. A growing number of solicitor mediators can assist with drafting consent orders or parenting plans.

Understanding these practicalities can help you to plan your advice and manage your client’s expectations as well as budget.

Provide support and constructive legal advice

Mediators can only provide information, not advice. Clients should therefore be encouraged by the mediator to seek independent legal advice alongside the process.

Lawyers play an important role in helping clients approach mediation constructively, by:

• Providing realistic guidance about the potential range of outcomes, including their best- and worst-case scenarios.
• Helping clients identify their priorities, including what issues are non-negotiable and where compromise may be possible.
• Encouraging creative thinking. Mediation is flexible and can allow for creative solutions specifically tailored to clients’ circumstances, which wouldn’t necessarily be considered in the more rigid court process.
• Providing support and guidance whilst encouraging and empowering your client to take ownership of their decisions.
• Explaining the alternatives, including the likely cost, delay and uncertainty of litigation compared with a negotiated outcome. This can often be a helpful reminder why they chose mediation in the first place and help to re-focus minds.

Keep the case moving

Decide with your client how and when you will be involved. Meeting before and/or after mediation sessions can be extremely helpful. It ensures the client has personal support, space to debrief, and an opportunity to obtain legal advice on specific points raised within the mediation.

Solicitor attendance within mediation itself is possible and can be valuable where issues are particularly complex or emotionally challenging. Should costs be more limited, it can be effective for solicitors to be available by telephone.

Mediators may suggest a professionals-only meeting, which is a short, informal conversation chaired by the mediator to identify key issues, agree the next stage of disclosure, clarify arrangements for expert instructions, and confirm the direction of travel for upcoming sessions. The best calls will be brisk and practical (with a short action list circulated afterwards), and reinforce the collaborative approach.

Keep it within the mediation

When mediation is underway, encourage clients to raise any issues within the process rather than through formal correspondence. Letters that revisit past grievances or assign blame often entrench positions, increasing conflict and making progress more difficult. The next mediation session then becomes focused on repairing the damage rather than moving forward.

Where communication outside mediation is necessary, keep language neutral and focussed on practical solutions. A professionals’ meeting may also be suggested ahead of key mediation sessions.

Dealing with impasse  

Lawyers can be instrumental in unlocking stalemates. Well-timed and targeted legal advice can reset expectations and help refocus clients on outcomes.

Importantly, reaching an impasse in mediation does not automatically mean court proceedings. Mediators may suggest several alternative strategies, for example:

• bringing solicitors into the process, including professionals-only meetings or hybrid mediation formats
• Early Neutral Evaluation, which provides an independent assessment of the likely outcome to give clients a reality check and/or unlock a stubborn point of principle
• arbitration, which sets an enforceable backstop, whether on all issues or on a narrow technical one
• involving experts, such as pension experts, IFAs, forensic accountants, child-inclusive mediators, or family therapists

These options can be tailored depending on the complexity of the issues, the urgency and procedural context, the budget available and the personalities and dynamics involved.

Final thoughts

Lawyers play an essential role in the success of mediation. With the right preparation, communication and strategic approach, you can empower your clients to achieve outcomes that are practical, sustainable, and in the best interests of the whole family.

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